The things I do to save my life
by little-drummer-1
Summary: You know, for some reason I'm not surprised to wake up butt naked and not know where I am...  that's right! I'm in Naruto world!


**Chapter 1**

**You know, for some reason I'm not surprised to wake up butt naked and not know where I am... **

_Yeahno_ that was a lie

$! #$$#%%^ I'm lost,

Completely lost,

my name is Naomi and although I want to say that I'm awesome and cool and can speak 5 languages and that I'm tortured princess or a "down town" punk head that can take care of herself in fights that a severely out numbered 1 to 5 – that one being me off course.

I would love to tell you all these great things about me that are super cool and all, but. I won't. Well more like I can't, because it's not true.

**At all. **

I kinda don't really want to start off with me being a Mary sue (though don't get me wrong Mary sue characters are what make the literature world go round, they are a reason why we – girls I mean cuz I have no idea about guys – try to 'make better of our selves' which kinda does good. But whatever some fanfiction made really good points about Mary sue – just search Mary sue and you'll find it)

The thing is I am you, or well something like you.. Your typical average teenager that has a slight obsession with fanfiction.

While this is good and all providing a back story but let's face the fact, I'm in the middle of a forest butt naked, every girls dream really...

Spitting out the dirt in my mouth from my recent wake up call, I'm not really sure what to think, for some reason all my survival knowledge 101 narrows down to a quiz that I did in year 9 labeled "what to do when lost" – original I know, quite stupid too - but right now it all that's keeping me from panicking even though I failed it.

**Question 1: what do you do when you realize that you don't know where you are?**

Sit and think apparently, something that I got wrong... OK so I'm still annoyed that I failed it because it was really easy with multiple questions and most of the questions were sarcastic.

Shaking my head I've narrowed down the possibilities for how I got here to being either

**Abducted** by aliens from my nice cosy home and bed and dropped off at the wrong place once they finished with me, meaning I could be anywhere on planet earth.

**Transported** to another universe by unknown means whilst sleeping.

**Drugged** to be a prospecting victim to a prank when people would find it funny to see what I would do and what stupid conclusions I would jump to. For the record I hate it when I look awkward and stupid; one of the reasons why I'm not running around like a douche trying to find hidden cameras, though the urge is strong my friend.

**Sleepwalked** and stripped because I decidedly didn't like clothes anymore

**Selective** amnesia seeing as I still know my name.. Where I'm from.. Who my family is.. What I ate for dinner..

You know...I am absolutely royally screwed. And it really doesn't help right now mulling over really stupid possibilities, but hey it's not like I gotta be anywhere.

Shifting uncomfortably in the dirt, I'm reminded about my lack of clothes, if I'm going to go gallivanting around this forest trying to find someone, I prefer not scaring away the people I meet with my indecency. But I don't see any clothes around here and wearing branches with leaves is going to give me a rash from friction, and I want no infections whilst I'm here because I am not getting sick in a place that I have no clue whether or not I'll be safe.

Looking up I realize that the sun is either rising or setting during the time that I've been sitting under the shade of a tree, and watching the pink hues of the sky fade I realize that its setting and its getting colder.

You know if someone had said that I was a lucky person I would have laughed it off, now I'm wondering why I didn't punch them, as it turns out either I'm still lethargic from drugs or the gravity in this universe is completely different from earths because either way crawling into the hidey hole of an oak tree that I spotted out, felt like there were 10 kilo weights strapped onto every muscle of my body.

Miserable but slightly warm I wonder what I should do now, there is no TV or computer distracting me, there was nothing I could do but think and worry about what I should do now; for food and water, clothes, warmth and what happens if I come across someone, what do I tell them? Curling up in fetal position I decided that sleep was just irresistible at this moment and whatever I decide, I can just do it in the morning.

* * *

><p>As it turns out I really didn't have to decide to do anything, fate decided for me and I really want to punch someone.<p>

"Did I mention that you look absolutely alluring in a man's clothing?" The said someone suggested.

You see, waking up bright and early the next morning full rested only to find a passed out man lying on top of you, it's safe to say that you're allowed to freak out, and by that I mean mad scrambling, a lot of face punching and a nice even kick to the family jewels. Though through this whole ordeal feeling proud because you were able to fight of this intruder in your weakened state – turns out its the gravity of the universe - only to have your ego deflated when you notice that the said man is still asleep, or passed out drunk in his case.

So after a lot of toe nudging and stealing his green sleeveless coat, I got a good look of the guy. Recognizable as a pea in a pod, younger too. Red tear lines dropping halfway down each side of his cheeks were a dead giveaway. After all this time – a day – I found out where I am... and then allowed myself to promptly pass out on top of him.

How...embarrassing...

* * *

><p>Waking up to someone squeezing my chest is not something I want to do again anytime soon. After some more pointless wild scratching that missed its intended target. I ended up here.<p>

"You see this grandpa" Pointing to my chest in a rough fashion "no touchy." Wiggling my finger to support my point.

On the outside I was all face on the inside was a completely different story running along the lines of '$#*! F****$$%$##$%$#' yeah it's not every day that you find out your in a story that you've read over a thousand times, admittedly cool, but it also means I'm royally screwed.. how do you think someone would react to you walking up to you saying that your their biggest fan and that they'll get though some deep trauma that nobody knows about and especially if they're ninja who are real and have no qualms about killing a 'spy' because think about it. These people who were just characters before are real and what we see on TV is completely different from the real thing, they have powers beyond what we can do, and it's scary.

Right now I'm in Naruto universe. And I really think that not knowing was better.

Coming back to reality I realize that I've been staring intently at him whilst an awkward silence settled between us and he's ready to break it by asking my name, something that's going to lead to other questions that I can answer without looking suspicious

Yeah something along the lines of _"my name is Naomi, yes I know it's foreign... why is that? Oh right that's because I'm not from around here... Where am I from you ask? Well not from this universe that's for sure... oh sorry I forgot to tell you that I know everything about you" _this is the part where I get killed for being a spy, looked at like I'm crazy then hugged and welcomed with open arms.

Using the paleness of my skin that is no doubt a direct result from all my inner mulling, I let a flicker of recognition settle in my eyes, and in a hoarse voice I whisper _"oh Kami, please don't kill me"_ then proceeded to fake passing out – something that I got really good at when playing 'dead' with my sister - I wince a little on the inside when I get a mouth full of dirt and a bruised chin from falling forwards.

The things I do to save my life.

You see, all up he has roughly two options. One was to take back his jacket and leave thinking that I'm not worth his time. Or the second was to wait till I wake up, or forcefully wake me up in this den or take me somewhere that's more reasonable such as an inn. I gave him reason for the second, though it's up to him.


End file.
